Standard Disclaimer

Action figures sold separately. Add toner.
Allow four to six weeks for delivery. An equal opportunity employer.
Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is unintentional
and purely coincidental. Apply only to affected area. Approved for
veterans. As seen on TV. At participating locations only.
Avoid contact with mucous membranes. Avoid contact with skin.
Avoid extreme temperatures and store in a cool dry place.
Batteries not included. Be sure each item is properly endorsed.
Beware of dog. Booths for two or more. Breaking seal constitutes
acceptance of agreement. Call toll free number before digging.
Caveat emptor. Check here if tax deductible. Close cover before
striking Colors may fade. Contains a substantial amount of
non-tobacco ingredients. Contents may settle during shipment.
Contestants have been briefed on some questions before the show.
Copyright © 1995 Joker's Wild. Disclaimer does not cover hurricane,
lightning, tornado, tsunami, volcanic eruption, earthquake, flood,
and other Acts of God, misuse, neglect, unauthorized repair,
damage from improper installation, broken antenna or marred cabinet,
incorrect line voltage, missing or altered serial numbers,
sonic boom vibrations, electromagnetic radiation from nuclear blasts,
customer adjustments that are not covered in the joke list,
and incidents owing to airplane crash, ship sinking,
motor vehicle accidents, leaky roof, broken glass, falling rocks,
mud slides, forest fire, flying projectiles, or dropping the item.
Do not bend, fold, mutilate, or spindle. Do not place near
flammable or magnetic source. Do not puncture, incinerate,
or store above 120 degrees Fahrenheit. Do not stamp. Use other
side for additional listings. Do not use while operating a motor
vehicle or heavy equipment. Do not write below this line.
Documents are provided "as is" without any warranties expressed
or implied. Don't quote me on anything. Don't quote me on that.
Driver does not carry cash. Drop in any mailbox. Edited for television.
Employees and their families are not eligible. Falling rock.
First pull up, then pull down. Flames redirected to /dev/null.
For a limited time only. For external use only. For off-road use only.
For office use only. For recreational use only. Do not disturb.
Freshest if eaten before date on carton. Hand wash only, tumble
dry on low heat. If a rash, redness, irritation, or swelling develops,
discontinue use. If condition persists, consult your physician.
If defects are discovered, do not attempt to fix them yourself,
but return to an authorized service center. If ingested,
do not induce vomiting, if symptoms persist, consult a doctor.
Keep away from open flames and avoid inhaling fumes. Keep away
from sunlight, pets, and small children. Keep cool; process promptly.
Limit one-per-family please. Limited time offer, call now to
ensure prompt delivery. List at least two alternate dates.
List each check separately by bank number. List was current at
time of printing. Lost ticket pays maximum rate. May be too
intense for some viewers. Must be 18 to enter. No Canadian coins.
No alcohol, dogs or horses. No anchovies unless otherwise specified.
No animals were harmed in the production of these documents.
No money down. No other warranty expressed or implied.
No passes accepted for this engagement. No postage necessary
if mailed in the United States. No preservatives added.
No purchase necessary. No salt, MSG, artificial color or flavor added.
No shoes, no shirt, no service, no kidding.
No substitutions allowed. No transfers issued until the bus
comes to a complete stop. No user-serviceable parts inside.
Not affiliated with the American Red Cross. Not liable for damages
due to use or misuse. Not recommended for children. Not responsible
for direct, indirect, incidental or consequential damages
resulting from any defect, error or failure to perform.
Not the Beatles. Objects in mirror may be closer than they appear.
One size fits all. Ask about free shipping. Many suitcases look alike.
Other copyright laws for specific entries apply wherever noted.
Other restrictions may apply. No solicitors. No COD's.
Do not attempt to change fan belt while engine is running.
Package sold by weight, not volume. Parental advisory - explicit lyrics.
Penalty for private use. Place stamp here. Please remain seated
until the ride has come to a complete stop. Possible penalties for
early withdrawal. Post office will not deliver without postage.
Postage will be paid by addressee. Prerecorded for this time zone.
Price does not include taxes. Processed at location stamped in code
at top of carton. Quantities are limited while supplies last.
Read at your own risk. Record additional transactions on back of previous stub.
Replace with same type. Reproduction strictly prohibited. Restaurant package,
not for resale. Return to sender, no forwarding order on file,
unable to forward. Nothing to read here. Safety goggles may be
required during use. Sanitized for your protection. Sealed for your
protection, do not use if the safety seal is broken. See label for sequence.
Shading within a garment may occur. Sign here without admitting guilt.
Simulated picture. Slightly enlarged to show detail.
Slightly higher west of the Rockies. Slippery when wet. Smoking these
may be hazardous to your health. Some assembly required.
Some equipment shown is optional. Some of the trademarks mentioned
in this product appear for identification purposes only.
Subject to FCC approval. Subject to change without notice.
Substantial penalty for early withdrawal. Text may contain
material some readers may find objectionable, parental guidance is advised.
Text used in these documents is made from 100% recycled electrons
and magnetic particles. The best safeguard, second only to abstinence,
is the use of a good laugh. These documents do not reflect the
thoughts or opinions of either myself, my company, my friends,
or my rabbit. This disclaimer was not stolen from anyone,
who can't remember from whom he stole it. This is not an offer
to sell securities. This offer is void where prohibited, taxed,
or otherwise restricted. This product is meant for educational
purposes only. Times approximate. A 15% Gratuity will be added to
parties of 7 or more. Unix is a registered trademark of AT&T.
All models over 18 years of age. All rights reserved.
Use only as directed. Use only in a well-ventilated area.
User assumes full liabilities. You must be at least this tall
to ride this ride. Void where prohibited. For use of tenants and their guests only.
We have sent the forms which seem right for you. You must be present to win.
You need not be present to win. Your canceled check is your receipt.
Your mileage may vary.
Member FDIC.

This supersedes all previous notices.

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